I was ashamed of myself. I should have known better. Why did I allow this to happen? Why did I let this go so far? What the hell was I thinking? Men as well as women can be on the wrong side of an abusive relationship. I know, I was there, and these are just some of the thoughts that came to mind when I looked back and began to write my book about the experience. Although you see many stories and hear about women who are abused in some way, physically, mentally or emotionally, there are many men who find themselves on the receiving end.
The conclusions that I came to might surprise you, might even shock you, but the main conclusion I came to was this. Almost everything I did, was done out of fear. Fear of what might happen, fear of what could happen, fear of what people thought, fear of what people would say and ultimately, fear of the unknown. Maybe there are fewer stories about men in abusive relationships because of fear. They probably feel that as a man they might be viewed or ridiculed as being weak or pathetic, unable to stand up to a woman and take charge of the situation.
My story is fairly long and that's why I wrote the book "Orion & The Wildcat" which was released on Amazon kindle last month. It tells of how I got myself into the relationship from hell. It lays bare almost everything I went through with no holds barred and reveals my innermost thoughts, feelings and emotions. Even the parts where I cried or cried myself to sleep because I had no idea how I could have been so stupid to carry on with a relationship which was clearly never going to last. I got engaged; I got married and endured a honeymoon nightmare after a wedding day disaster that most people couldn't even imagine.
I believe that many people are in relationships, men and women that they just shouldn't be in. Like me they are or were in the relationship for the wrong reasons, one of the main reasons being fear. It's only when we step out of the fear factor and allow ourselves to be free, that we feel alive again.
Experience is a great teacher and in any lifetime we all have lessons to learn. I was lucky. My inner voices, or as I prefer to call them, my spirit guides, were on hand to steer me through the troubled times and get me to the other side. Here we have another major issue. Most often we are led by our brain and logic rather than being led by our hearts. We may often feel that our heart is talking but more often than not it's logic mixed with fear. It's only when we get quiet, we have time to reflect and truly follow the heart's desire. I know of no one who ever had the heart's desire to live in an abusive relationship, so the question is: Why do so many people find themselves there?
I aim to answer many of these questions in the book, as well as showing how through my stupidity and fear, how you can sidestep many of the pitfalls and avoid the fear driven decisions I was making.
There is nothing wrong with admitting mistakes and leaving a relationship that isn’t working. The trick is to leave the relationship and stay away. Going back on the promise of changes being made rarely, if ever work, especially if there has been a troubled and turbulent history. At best the changes will last a few days, a few weeks, or if you are really lucky, a few months. It’s never too long before the old habits start repeating and you’re back at square one. How long do you go on? How much do you take? How far do you let things slide, before you see sense and leave for good? All good questions and if you are in the wrong relationship, then I hope you answer them quicker than I did.
If you are looking for somewhere to start a conventional business or buying a home for you and your family, the words you will hear more often than not are Location, Location, and Location! When you read the book “When You Can Walk on Water ~ Take the Boat” the words I would use are Inspiration, Inspiration and Inspiration!
In this book the author, John Harricharan, brings together the world in which we think we live and gives us some insight into the dimensions that lay behind the thin veil between worlds. It’s a perfect blend of facts and stories put together in a fun way with some deeper messages for you to ponder.
The title of the book comes from a story told by the character, Gideon. It concerns a young disciple who declares to his master that he will set himself the goal to be able to walk on water. After many years the young disciple happy to report that he has mastered the art of walking on water, only to hear the reply “‘Why did you not take the boat? You would have saved so much time”.
The story begins with what seems like a chance meeting with a man called Gideon in the parking lot of an office block. However, we know that nothing happens by chance and Gideon seems to know a lot more than the average person you meet and offer some assistance with a car breakdown.
Throughout the book Gideon “appears” to offer his assistance with the challenges the author is facing. Mostly these concern a struggling business, finances and other challenges that most of face in our everyday lives. It’s not long before further support comes in the form of Marla, and associate of Gideon at G & M Enterprises.
As you read through the book, a few of the questions you might begin asking yourself are, who are Gideon and Marla and what is G & M Enterprises? How do they know where John will be and what he is doing at any given time?
Ultimately, John gets to meet the Chairman of the Board and President of G & M Enterprises. You may be as surprised as he was to find out just who that was. For those who are not familiar with the book, I won’t spoil it for you by revealing it here. Suffice to say it is someone who is always around to help those who ask and are open to the answers.
This is truly a story about life and life beyond life. It will take you to the deepest depths of your soul and bring you back again more enlightened. It answers the question, that we are never alone, even though sometimes it feels that way. I would also say that it shows everything happens for a reason and a purpose. Whilst that reason or purpose may not always be clear to begin with, especially when what we perceive as bad things happen, eventually it comes to pass that all of it was for our highest good.
If you are cynical, skeptical and have a mind which tends to be closed to new insights, then this book is certainly NOT for you. You’ll never grasp the concept of system 22 and you’ll be wasting your time. However, if your mind can open just a little, then the insights and thought provoking concepts could send you and the life you live in a whole new direction.
“This is not an ending. It’s not even the beginning of an ending. It’s simply a beginning and so be it.”
Some people say that “tomorrow never comes” which is true in a way. The fact is that as soon as the clock goes one second after midnight, it is today! Think about it. There is no tomorrow, so start living in the present moment.
The book, “Morning Has Been All Night Coming” by John Harricharan, is written in a similar fashion to the first book “When You Can Walk On Water ~ Take The Boat” which was written five years earlier. Again, he takes you on a fascinating and enchanting journey, where the realms of our perceived world and spirit meet.
The beginning of this book did have a somewhat special meaning. John tells the story of how his wife Mardai was diagnosed and eventually died from cancer in her thirties. It would seem that both John and I had a similar experience as I to, watched my own wife die from the same illness, at the age of 36, leaving us both with young children to care for. However, the important thing to realise from this is that life goes on even after such events.
How often have you had the feeling that “Morning Has Been All Night Coming” because you have worried yourself sick about tomorrow and the things you had to do or take care of? How many nights have you tossed and turned unable to sleep because you were upset about a future event that in the end didn’t turn out the way you imagined or never happened at all. We are all prone to having sleepless nights. The question is, does lying awake worrying about what may happen or not happen do us any good? Honest answer ~ NO!
Gideon and Marla who work with G&M Enterprises also appear in this book as they did in the Waterbook. There is a captivating chapter “The Restaurant at the Edge of Eternity” where Gideon and Marla take John and he also meets Theo, another employee of G&M. How did John get to this restaurant? You’ll figure it out if you take the time to read.
There is another chapter in the book that is very close to my heart. Truth be known, I actually got goose bumps when I read this part. The chapter also has the same title as a very famous Scottish song “Will Ye No’ Come Back Again” which has been sung by many famous Scots, such as Kenneth McKellar and The Corries.
John mentions many places to which I have been and know very well in my homeland. I have crossed the Cromarty and Dornoch Firths many times. The exciting part of this story is where John goes and who he meets there. One of the most famous Scots in history. Someone who discovered something that is as well known around the world as he is. Who was this person? Why was he in a tiny remote village on the Northern Coast of Scotland, around 300 miles from his home town? Read the book and there you will find the answers to these questions and questions about your own life and the conditions you have created around you.
